Receiving our Babies!

Xiaoqing is in great shape. We received her in our CCAI guide's hotel room. Very different from last time which was in the hallway by the elevators. Xiaoqing had a cough and a problem with constipation, which has cleared up. The cough is almost gone, too. She is a chubby little girl and very good size - 18.9 lbs and 29" long - at 10 1/2 months. Our pediatrician said that Xiaoqing is in as good shape as if she had been with us the entire time; I prefer to think he is saying good things about the orphanage rather than bad things about our home and parenting styles.

Xiaoqing's pre-placement information indicated that she receives a middle of the night feeding which I found difficult to believe. But, indeed, she DOES receive a middle of the night feeding.

We were told that Xiaoqing is an introverted baby. The first day we were with her, she was in shock and very quiet. The second and third days, she grieved and was inconsolable. By the 4th day, she started smiling all the time at us and everyone. She engages complete strangers and charms them with her smile. We really had an easy trip with her.

We met with the orphanage director a total of four times. Sometimes staff were also present. At each meeting, other than the notarization, the assistant director took pictures - at least as many as we took. I found it to be heart warming that the orphanage would care so much. At the notarization, we met with the notary officials on the mezzanine level of the hotel (Lakeside). The orphanage director sat in the same seating/conversation area that we did. Later, at our question and answer session, he told me that he had observed me feeding Xiaoqing a thick bottle, which was good. He also said that I embrace her too much and if I continue, she will be spoiled! I respectfully thanked him for sharing the information with me.

At the end of the question and answer session, the orphanage director and assistant director presented us with a number of gifts: a large, display-type map of the city of Gutian, two medallions, a Chamber of Commerce-type book of Gutian, a small photo album documenting Xiaoqing's time at the orphanage and including photos of Xiaoqing with the other baby who was adopted at the same time and with her Nanny, a red velvet bag containing earth from the orphanage site, and a note indicating her birth date which they said was found with her.

Trip to Gutian SWI

We saw the babies' rooms and their pictures and information cards were still posted over their beds. They were like toddler beds; one baby to one bed. The orphanage was very clean. We were asked to remove our shoes before entering the babies' area and provided with slip-on sandals to wear while we were inside. There are 30 babies and 6 staff plus the director and assistant director. They were all very nice people. The director knelt down to the floor to play with a special needs baby with a heart condition. Perhaps his actions were for our benefit, but he seemed to be genuine. The little girl was fat and looked healthy. They were scheduling heart surgery for her. She was playing with two of the Gymboree balls we gave as part of a donation. We brought along a huge suitcase and box filled with orphanage donations - the results of our efforts and those of friends and other CCAI families. Above the special needs baby, attached to a chain (or something like it), which was attached to the ceiling, was the brown musical crib bear we sent to the orphanage before our visit. It plays "Beautiful Dreamer." Again, the presence of our gifts in the babies' play area may have been purposefully placed, but I was glad to see the toys in use.

The babies were seated around the room in very interesting bamboo baby seats. In the room was a large, new-looking television broadcasting a news talk show. I think they were proud of the television. There were three older kids at the orphanage - about 13 years old. I believe the three were the only other children at the orphanage. I have heard that in Fujian Province, quite a few children are adopted locally. Does that seem to be correct information based on other's understanding?

Senior Citizens were also housed in the orphanage. The director made a point of taking us to a man's room that is a Christian. It was interesting to see all the Christian pictures and religious items in his room. And also interesting that they wanted to point out the fact that he is a Christian to us. He had a large picture of the Lord's Supper hanging on the wall. We asked if the Seniors interacted with the children and were told they do not. The reasons are: fear that the Seniors may have a communicable disease that might be passed on to the children and because they are not certain if the Seniors would treat the children appropriately - i.e. they might be mean to them.

The assistant director is the person who was called when Xiaoqing was found at the age of three weeks. He went to the location personally and picked her up. We went there and he was able to show me the exact spot she had been found. It was very moving for me and the group allowed me a few minutes of private time to reflect on that pivotal moment in our lives.

The director and assistant director insisted on taking us to lunch. We knew this was a possibility and consulted with our guide before we left Fuzhou. When the director informed our guide that he intended to take us to lunch, the guide attempted to tell the director that it wasn't necessary, but he insisted. The guide told us we should offer to pay, but be gracious receivers if they refused. We were kind of worried about the food because this town is considered small and is a 2 1/2 hour drive from Fuzhou, in the mountains. When we walked into the private dining room, there was a round table with a large lazy susan on it. On the edge of the lazy susan were small plates that seemed to contain things like dried unidentified meat and grub-type things. They turned out to be drunken shrimp, which I didn't see anyone -not even the hosts - eat, and things like pickled dried carrots - a local specialty.

The orphanage staff was very gracious and asked us what kinds of Chinese food we like and what we need to avoid. Several suggestions were mentioned that sounded OK to me. I said privately to the dad of the other baby adopted from this orphanage, "My only request is that the dishes don't contain organs or entrails." Then, I thought about it and asked him if I should say that. He agreed that I should. So, I told our translator and asked her to let us know if that would be an inappropriate question. She had to look up "entrails" on her hand-held language converter. She immediately said something like, "Oh, of course. Not a problem." I worried so much about the food because I would never want to offend our hosts, but I really can't think about eating certain things, for example live shrimp and pork viscera, which I have seen on menus in China.

The food kept arriving and they gave us large shot-type glasses of beer. Every time I took a sip, the assistant director refilled my glass! Yikes! Luckily, I kept what wits I had about me. The food was magnificent. We agreed that it was the best food we had in China, and informed our hosts. They seemed to be pleased. There was a Szechwan beef dish, steamed shrimp, a rice/pork dish steamed in bamboo that was to die for, a mushroom soup which was unbelievable and unlike anything I have ever seen. This area is known for mushrooms and the soup was served in a clear bowl and looked like a consume with small, lacy objects floating in it - they were the mushrooms. It was delicious. There were also steamed pea pods that were the most tender I have ever eaten. And much, much more. All in all, it was a wonderful experience and a wonderful exchange between the orphanage management and us.

When asked what the orphanage might need, I was surprised when the director said that because of the generosity of parent donations, mentioning Americans particularly, and the orphanage child-rearing fee, they are not in need of monetary donations! He did say that when they complete their new addition, they would need some books and some physical activity type of equipment for the children.

The director told us that they (the staff) view these occasions with mixed feelings: they are happy that the babies are going to homes and families, but are sad that they are moving so far away. I told him that we also have mixed feelings. While we are delighted to have the babies come into our homes, we are sad to take them away from their birth culture. We made the commitment to do everything possible to keep the babies aligned with their Chinese heritage. He seemed very pleased to hear this.

The director surprised us when he asked for our opinion on how their orphanage could be improved. I said it is obvious that the babies are very well cared for and in excellent condition. The staff is openly caring about the children. The babies are fat - obviously well fed. There is nothing I could offer that would be an improvement on what they are already doing. He beamed at this answer and I knew it was the right one. The good part is that I really believe it.

It was funny, because even though we couldn't communicate in the same language, I really liked these people. I look forward to the time when we can return to Gutian with Xiaoqing to share her beginnings with her in person. I hope these folks are still there and have a feeling that even if they aren't, we may be able to locate them.

The assistant director brought his 14-year-old son to the lunch, which he is obviously very proud of. The son is learning English and wanted to speak to us. It was very sweet to see the Dad so proud with his son. The son was wearing a t-shirt that said "da Bronx."

After lunch, there was not enough time to return to the orphanage to visit the special room dedicated to placed children. So, we said goodbye on the street. Gutian has so many pedi-cabs on the streets! It was really something to see them! Three young girls looked at us in shock - as if they were looking at ghosts or aliens. I smiled, waved and said, "Hello! NiHao!" That pretty much freaked them out.

On the ride home, we continued talking to our translator -- a local university student from Fuzhou. Her name is Jennifer and she was delightful. Every time we said a word she didn't understand, she would look it up on her hand-held translator and write it down in a book. Jennifer attempted to educate us on Chinese holidays such as the Moon Festival, Chinese New Year and Dragon Boat races. She was amazed to hear that we celebrate those holidays in our homes, or in the case of the Dragon Boat races -hold them, in our town.

In Fuzhou

The Panda Zoo was kind of traumatic. They had several Pandas there and they were very cute. The conditions were not very nice, however. And, in the museum, many research - type photos were displayed which were unappealing. Most disturbing of all was a series of 6 or 7 human fetuses in glass jars, lined up next to 3 Panda fetuses. We guessed they were there to show the differences between humans and Pandas (maybe evolutionary), but it is really hard to see how. It was obvious that the human fetuses were real - there were tiny, distinct facial features. I only glanced at them for a second, before I realized what they were - but I cannot get that vision out of my mind.

Fuzhou itself is a wonderful city. The people were friendly and accepting. Occasionally, we would get someone looking askance at us, but for the most part, we felt very welcome. We were told that basically the only Westerners who travel to Fuzhou are parents who are adopting. We felt comfortable walking alone in the street markets. They don't offer a lot of touristy items, but they have some great deals.

Another highlight of the trip was going to Wal-Mart in Fuzhou. Isn't that a hoot!?! It wasn't like our local Wal-Mart, but it was fun to see the familiar sign on a store. Actually, it was a Super Wal-Mart - we didn't linger too long in the meat department. My brother-in-law saw a food cart and said, "Oh, look. They are selling french fries." I told him that if he looked closer, he would probably see that they are actually fried chicken feet. He seemed not to believe me, but within seconds, said, "You are absolutely right." HA! I purchased some wonderful padded Chinese silk pants outfits at Wal-Mart for about $7 each. They will be great for Chinese New Year when the weather is a little too cold for the usual silk outfits. We also saw a Sam's Club on the way to Gutian.

I know I haven't done the trip justice, but have gone on too long. Plus, I haven't told you enough about our beautiful daughter. She is a delight and adjusting well.

One final note. Just to let people know costs associated with the trip to Gutian. I am sure others have paid very different prices - higher and lower, but I thought it might be helpful to post this information. The van to Gutian from Fuzhou cost $80 US. We left the hotel at 8:30 a.m., the driver ate lunch with us and he told us we needed to leave at 2:30 p.m.. We tipped him $100 RMB. We actually had two translators with us. The first one ended up not knowing much English and recruited a friend beforehand to help her. The friend, Jennifer, was quite fluent in English. There was no actual cost for the translators. The translators may have been paid by the agency, because our agency guide accompanied another group of parents to the Nanping/Yanping orphanage that same day. We tipped them $100 RMB each. This was arranged by our agency.

Mom to Xiaoqing b. 6/01 a. 4/02 from Gutian, Fujian
and to Mei-Xing b. 3/99 a. 1/00 from Yueyang, Hunan